The power of taking control of your life

While I am not one for prayer or organized religion, I do recognize the wisdom of this part of the Serenity Prayer – “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”. This is something very powerful in the wisdom to understand the difference between circumstances (“things”) that can and cannot be changed, and having the courage to take action in the case of the things that you can change, and the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. (And yes, this prayer has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous, so it may sound familiar).

Regardless of your religious leanings there is a lot of wise advice to be gleaned here – how many times have you spun your wheels on something that in reality you could not change a thing about and just dug your heels in trying and trying – wasting your time, energy and patience. To know that you cannot change something and to accept that can be very difficult to bear.

In order to truly take that step back and see the unchangeable for what it is and go so far as to accept that is something that is quite incredible and very calming. You can start out feeling rage and frustration at wanting to change something and why you want to change it, transition to a feeling of helplessness when you allow yourself to see that you cannot change that circumstance, to eventually get yourself to a place of accepting that fact and finding peace within yourself so that you can move on in a graceful and peaceful way.

There are many ways of doing this – meditation, journaling or just sitting with the feelings that arise and recognizing them in our minds and bodies…

Getting focused on life’s priorities can help with this… Again, recognizing what we can change and focusing on that, rather than on the things that are outside of our control…

Have you ever felt like you just don’t have the time for all of the things you have to do? There is so much on your To Do list how can you possibly get them all done? There are just not enough hours in the day, huh?!

How about you look at it from another perspective – do you NEED to do all of the things on your list? Where did these tasks come from? Are they all necessary, urgent – are they your priorities or are they things that you think you should be doing? (Don’t get me started on the word “should”!)

Paring down your list to just YOUR priorities, not the busy work, not what you think you should be doing but the things that will really move the needle for you in tasks you really want and need to achieve can get you focused on what’s important and you will be pleasantly surprised how much your list shrinks.

On the other side of things: what are your non-negotiables, what are the things you need to do every day, your rituals and practices, that make you feel good – we’re not pouring from an empty cup here – put your oxygen mask on first before you help others, right?! And this is how we pick and the develop our own healthy habits that work for us – this habit makes me feel good, therefore it is a non-negotiable for me and I do it every day before I even get to the To Do list. And this is something that is within your control, you get to choose here and choose you must, before life takes over your calendar and you’re left with an empty cup to pour from!

Do the things that you know make you feel good, and help you stay healthy and you will have the energy to tackle everything else, regardless of how much time the Time-Fairy makes disappear in your day! And do this without guilt or worrying about the other things you could be doing instead!

You have the wisdom to know what you can control, focus on that and do what YOU need and discard the rest! Believe in yourself, in your inner knowing and wisdom. You’ll be lighter, more focused and be able to live a more intentional life that YOU have designed, for YOU! Only then can you fully and completely show up for others.

Try it and see what changes, I have a feeling you will be very pleasantly surprised!

Be Well, Real Well,
Tracey