The Art of Discernment

As in so many other aspects of our health journeys, the idea of discernment can play a key role in building healthy habits that lead to overall improvements in health and well-being. I know in my own health journey, discernment has had a big part to play, from the food that I choose to eat, to the types of movement that I have decided to incorporate, to the non-negotiable wellness practices, such as meditation, that I choose to do on a daily basis. Discernment has us ask ourselves what we are doing and why we are doing those things – do they bring us joy, and, if not, why are we doing them? Do we need to stop doing them to improve our health and the quality of our lives?

Another part of this discernment in our health journey can be looking at our relationships and the people we spend time with, our social interactions.  If we observe the way particular relationships and people make us feel overall, we can discern who are the takers and the relationships that are taxing or draining, and perhaps should be removed from our social interactions. We can certainly find ourselves getting clarity on whether certain people and relationships should be pared down or removed from our lives in the interests of our own mental health.

This is not to say that we remove all social interactions and only become concerned with ourselves all the time – not at all – social interactions and valuable close relationships are a key component of our overall health. What we should be looking at discerningly, and consider removing, are those relationships that take more out of us than they nourish us, you know that person that drains your time and resources when you are with them and even afterwards when you replay over and over the things that were said and the things you wanted to say but didn’t.

This is definitely one for the people pleasers (it me! But in recovery now) and it is definitely a difficult one to admit to ourselves.

Try this: journaling in a free flowing way and just getting it all out on to the page without holding back can bring that clarity and show us what we dare not say aloud, especially when it comes to certain people in our lives. Think about relationships that fill you up and those that drain you…

What if you think this doesn’t apply to you in your life at this time:

We can see this in two ways – does it apply but there is resistance in addressing or looking at it at this time, or is there a different way you can interpret discernment so that it is relevant to you in the here and now.

It goes without saying that there is no judgment here – we do not judge our thoughts or our words as we observe them. It is something interesting to observe however, the initial reaction to this concept – asking yourself where the hell did THAT reaction come from?! And perhaps you journal on that reaction to being asked to look at discernment in your own life, rather than the observation of discernment itself – either way try to get some clarity on what discernment means to you and how you can use it to optimize your health and well being.

We are not only challenging ourselves to observe our relationship to discernment but our reaction to applying discernment to our health, life and relationships, and we are also using discernment to develop healthy habits that we can sustain over time in order to live fuller and healthier lives, as well as learning to be adaptable and flexible. What better way to test this than to interpret how we can practice discernment and our reaction to that in different way or look at this practice from different angles as we can apply it in different areas of our lives. Isn’t that what makes life interesting – everyone seeing the same things in slightly different ways and opinions differing in fascinating and respectful ways – through this we learn and grow. We can build a life we truly desire but making discerning choices, that work for us and our lives, health and well-being. And that’s not selfish, thats self care my friend.

Be Well, Real Well
Tracey xo